These days, this journal pretty much is friends-only. There's a bunch of entries from the last two years that are public, but everything else is locked down. :D

Comment to be added. I can't promise I will add you, because my flist is already out of control as it is. But I might if I think we have cool stuff to say to each other and you look like a nifty person. :)

Note to those already on my list: You're all still there. This is a note for any newcomers. :)

I've just found out a friend of mine in America, who I have known since 1997, passed away yesterday.

She has struggled with breast cancer for many years. She had had a double masectomy but they kept finding tumors. She told us a couple of years ago she was terminal but I couldn't really believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

Many years ago, when we first 'met' online, she was a great friend to me. I met with her in Disneyland with some other internet pals and she stayed the night at my hotel and the next day we had a great day driving around LA.

When I became less involved in fandoms we stopped talking as much and interacting. Our contact gradually became only on livejournal and she posted less and less as time passed but we always kept up a friendly interaction and when I felt sentimental I would tell her I'd never forgotten or stopped appreciating the time we had together. But I didn't always think to chase her up when she hadn't been seen for a while.

Just today I was wondering why she hadn't posted since January and was going through her back entries, trying to find a clue. I felt like something had happened. I had decided a couple of weeks ago to email her, to get in touch. I forgot about it. I was going to do it today, then her sister posted the news.

I always hoped I would get to America again and get to spend time with her again. I hoped it would be this year or next. Though we had long ago stopped being close, she always meant a lot to me and I had a lot of happy memories of her.

I did, however, get distracted always by other things. I guess distance plays a big part, but I didn't put enough effort in and now I won't be able to. I'm sorry that I took time for granted.

For those of you from the old days wondering - I'm speaking of 'Query' - Dee Lemma - Kristal.

I will miss her.


A few photos from that long ago trip... Dee is the one in green with the long red plaits. I can't believe I just happen to have a disc with me today that just happens to have these photos on it.

This year for the Gay & Lesbian (although I think it is now officially the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex Mardi Gras) I marched with Scarlet Alliance and Touching Base.
We gathered at Scarlet HQ to muster the troops. The theme for the float was red and everyone looked zensational… as you can see…

Much gin was drunkened. You will see the photos get gradually blurrier as the night progresses and my state of intoxication increased. We were joined not just by sex workers and people with disabilities but by some SOFFAs (significant others, friends, family, allies) who also all looked marvellous.

The mood was bright and fierce as it always is during Mardi Gras, with people hopping about excitedly,painting each other's nipples and writing slogans on each other's bodies, tightening corsets and adjusting garter belts. Or codpieces, as it were.

Then it was off to get ready for the loooooooooooooooooong wait in our starting position!

Darlinghurst is a cool cat neighbourhood at the best of times, but with it being Mardi Gras the streets were littered with various people in their fabulous finery. We were stopped and obliged to pose for photographs with many spectators and tourists along the way, but we go there in the end.

To our joy, we discovered we were situated right next to the Australian Federal Police! Who had a bright red car! HA! Well it wasn't long before it was accosted by us over enthusiastic and perhaps slightly drunken whores… as I wrote for the Scarlet website:
The assembly of whores screeched with delight upon sighting the bright red Australian Federal Police vehicle parked right beside our float. Immediately, half a dozen pro hos flung themselves onto the car, gyrating and humping wildly, laughing with wicked glee. It took only seconds for the vehicle to become obscured by the bountiful bevy of curvacious flesh, red satin and velvet and curling locks of hair in all colours. Lipstick kisses were peppered over the police insignia whilst the car's minders looked on in distress, feebly trying to discourage this hedonistic display. The whores fluttered our lashes and promised to behave and obediently got off the vehicle. Then we laughed deliriously and cast our enormous "NO BAD WHORES JUST BAD LAWS" over the car's windshield before clambering back on for more kisses. Truly, it was a blessed vehicle that rode with the Federal Police that night.
Speaking of, you can see more pics on the events page at the site.

Yes, the cops did ask us not to jump on the car as they were scared they wouldn't be allowed to march again next year (first time they were allowed to) but I'm afraid we disobeyed them… we also put lipstick marks on every white space we could find Hee.

We danced, gyrated, sung and gossiped while we waited for the march to begin. It eventually did, as it always does and we waved effusively as each float passed us by until our turn. We chanted our slogans 'no bad whores, just bad laws' and some others (I've forgotten, I was drunk!) as we marched and waved to people who cheered enthusiastically as we passed by.

At Mardi Gras, the average person becomes a celebrity. People beg you to pause just long enough for them to take a photo and entreat you to come over and kiss them. Naturally, my ego can't resist this kind of attention, so I give out many kisses freely to many nameless strangers I'll never see again, at the same time as saying 'support your local prostitutes!' or some other such related political statement. God knows how many photos are out there now. Everyone was positive and enthusiastic. It was awesome… whoresome? Yes!

MOI all glammed up and ready to go...



( an assembly at Scarlet HQ )

( me and whore-pals Tyson Quarren-Smith (my name for him, don't ask), Lydia Lunchbox and Kylie )

( whore friends and whores )

( a FULL groupshot - I had to splice together two photos for this! I so clever! )

( boywhores and me )

( the federal police being blessed )

( to the power of two! )

( does this car match my dress? )

( cops are some of our most enthusiastic customers you know... )

( we just got carried away )

( gorgeous whores with a random straggler )

( me and marie antoinette )

( whore lovers )

( yes they do )

( Lydia and the Tranny Cops )

( Tyson Quarren-Smith takes over the city! )

( I think this might be the point I was very drunk )

( yep )

( I look like a rabbit... )

( the Touching Base logo )

The "Whore" Word

I am a woman.... and if I get out of line, you call me a whore!
And if I have a good time, you call me a whore!
And if I speak my mind- you call me a whore!
You throw the word at me when I stand on my own
You use the word often to hold me down.
You ever remind me that whores are the worst-
the outcasts, pariahs, without any worth.

"You're just a whore!" you repeat like a mantra-
Like a shot of cold water to dampen my joy.
'You're just a whore- so what do you know?
and what do I care of whatever you think!"
"You're a whore," is a dagger you drive through my heart
as you pound into my psyche that name..
You equate everything that I ever thought good- with that word
which you spit out like venom- to show me how awful I am.
But I ask you, please tell me, just what is a whore?
A whore says what she thinks and she thinks for herself...
She's independent and feisty- so what? is there more?
Why does it frighten you so to know I've a mind of my own
and don't need your permission to live or to love or to be?
And what if I tell you
I don't care anymore if you call me a whore...

What will you call me now?


©Norma Jean Almodovar 1996


Detroit Annie, Hitchhiking

Her words pour out as if her throat were a broken
artery and her mind were cut-glass, carelessly handled.
You imagine her in a huge velvet hat with great
dangling black feathers,
but she shaves her head instead
and goes for three-day midnight walks.
Sometimes she goes down to the dock and dances
off the end of it, simply to prove her belief
that people who cannot walk on water
are phonies, or dead.
When she is cruel, she is very, very
cool and when she is kind she is lavish.
Fisherman think perhaps she's a fish, but they're all
fools. She figured out that the only way
to keep from being frozen was to
stay in motion, and long ago converted
most of her flesh into liquid. Now when she
smells danger, she spills herself all over,
like gasoline, and lights it.
She leaves the taste of salt and iron
under your tongue, but you dont mind
The common woman is as common
as the reddest wine

© by Judy Grahn

I won't be in town for this, such a shame, but the organisation I work for is putting this on. Sounds like it will be totally amazing. Worth the $77 for anyone interested in these important issues.

This unique annual forum, spanning sex work in developed and developingcountries will give participants greater insight into contemporary sexworker rights, migration and labour issues for sex workers. This is arare chance to gain an understanding of effective sex worker projects,to hear about health promotion and its application in regards to sexwork, service delivery to migrant sex workers locally and regionally,and the partnership work of Australian sex worker peer organisationsand those in developing countries.

Venue: Albion Street Centre, 349 Crown Street, Surry Hills
RSVP: 9326 9455 or info@scarletalliance.org.au
Cost: $77 including lunch

The agenda includes:
- Mapping the work of the Scarlet Alliance Migration Working Party
- An evidence based, culturally sensitive health promotion approach to working with Korean and Chinese sex workers in Australia
- Migration of Chinese sex workers: Contemporary research outcomes and possible directions for program work
- Thai sex workers at home and abroad: Sex worker health promotion programs in NSW, and successful linking with Empower, Thailand.
- Capacity development in the Asia Pacific region: Sex workers’ leading in the development of appropriate programs and services.
- Sex worker rights and global issues, including the “Swedish model”demand reduction: How it fails sex workers; Trafficking measures andthe deterioration of sex worker rights; International policydevelopment and the silencing of sex workers

Who should attend?
Sex worker service providers, health educators, women’s and migrantservice providers, legal and human rights workers, development workers,policy makers, members of the community. </p>

Please attend, invite your colleagues, or make a donation on the day!

LINK FOR MORE INFO

At some stage in the near future I will write about Mardi Gras, Touching Base Training and other fun miscellenia.

For now, though, I am all a-twitter as next week fast approaches and my three-week internship at Varuna Writer's House begins.

For those who don't know, last year I was awarded a three-week residency at this writer's retreat to work on a half-finished novel of mine.

It is very exciting. Varuna is in the cunt-ry and there is no television or radios or anything like that, and only one shared internet computer. There is quiet time from 9.00am - 6.00pm.

I can only imagine what three weeks isolated like that surrounded only by other nerdy writers is going to do to me. I will come out the other end with a long white beard, gnarled fingernails and wild eyes muttering about ants in the tea.

I'm hoping they're going to let me take Angilie up with me. Waiting on an answer.

I figure I might start The Artists' Way while I'm up there. Seems ideal.

Anyway, the idea is to come out the other end with a complete first draft. Stay tuned.

So I was just walking along Oxford Street when I was hailed by a group of charity-sign-up people.

You know the ones - uni students and backpackers doing a few hours of schlepping a week harrassing pedestrians to sign up for X good cause.

Considering the extreme difficulty of this task, these types have to get creative in the ways they attract people's attention, hopefully sufficiently enough that they actually will stop and listen for a few seconds to whatever it is they have to say, and maybe, miracle of miracles, SIGN UP for which charity they might be representing. Cue lots of jumping out in front of people, shouted greetings, compliments on people's appearance and clothing, etc, etc.

Most of it doesn't work. People smile, nod, and move a bit quicker to get away.

Anyhoo, I was looking at all these girls and thinking - why are they wearing such baggy, ill-fitting t-shirts with such high collars?

I was musing to myself that if I were to be such a person, I would get my regulation shirt in the smallest size possible, with a scooped neck and wear my best push-up bra.

Then it occured to me, that in actuality maybe these girls didn't get that kind of choice. Maybe there's just a bit of a one-size fits all approach to the uniforms.

Then I thought:

Who designed these uniforms?

Were they BLIND?

Who signed off on them?

Were THEY blind??

I mean, the first rule of getting ANYONE'S attention is: BOOBIES.

Boobies are a fool-proof, fail-safe way of attracting more business and clientele to whatever operation it is you're running. This is common knowledge.

EVERYONE likes boobies. Even gay men and straight chicks dig boobies.

Why wouldn't they?

The logic of boobies is simple and finite: THEY'RE AWESOME.

Pros to boobies:
- They're great to look at
- They make a nice top look fabulash
- They are soft and squishy
- There is lots of very pretty lingerie designed to wear on boobies
- They provide sustenance and nourishment to infants
- Boobies get you free drinks and other perks
- Buying drinks and other perks for people with boobies means you can look at them covertly while you talk to the people with boobies
- They bounce
- They come in all shapes, sizes, styles and colours
- They're a real eye-grabber
- Everyone likes them

Cons to boobies:





.......

I GOT NOTHIN'!

(Well, except for maybe they bounce up and down when you run. But that's only a con if you don't like people looking at you. AND WHO DOESN'T LIKE THAT?)

I was going to go to all the Charity Places and share with them this great wisdom and insight from the Bee Goddess then it occured to me there might an issue with that whole sexual discrimination thing and that this, in fact,might be the real reason the girls are subjected to wear such ugly, baggy t-shirts.

So instead I advise any girl who works for one of these organisations to get the smallest size you can and make your own alterations. I guarantee your success rate in getting people to sign up will increase by at least 50%.

I am a little bit more stumped as to what boys who work for these orgs can do to get the same increase. There's not really the same carry-over thing where one of the key traits of a particular gender looks AWESOME no matter what other variables are involved. However, if you have a really nice pair of "man-boobs" or "moobs" or "breasticles" (as I like to call them), it might be worth your while to invest in a nice push-up bra as well. YA NEVER KNOW.

This is what my boyfriend gave me for Valentines... she is exquisite.

Unfortunately, I can't display her until I get an enclosed cabinet. Or Angilie (my kitty) will kill her without a doubt.

( Pull the strings! )

*pats her tenderly*

Now I gotta get her matching Mistah J. Unfortunately he is sold out. Not going on eBay for less than $250. But he'll be mine. Eventually.

I swear it must be all the preservatives in that cheap cheap cheap wine. I have a mid-afternoon hangover >:|

I won't be doing that in a hurry again... ie... running from dayjob to performing... to going to be an audience member at another performance.

Especially as I had to go see Camille with my "doll" makeup still on. Ha.

HOWEVER.


Camille was wonderful. Just as good as last time I saw her. She does create a very powerful atomsphere during her shows. Fantastic voice. She only did one Tom Waits song, damn her. But there was plenty of Brel to enjoy, and Nick Cave too. Many of the same songs she sang last time, but a live performance is different every time which is part of the fun. She's a real treat.

Sadly, she did not have any new CDs. I bought all of them last time she was out.

Our show came off well too. It all felt very rushed and panicked and last minute considering we only rehearsed twice but apparently it came off really well according to those who saw it. The audience reaction was great, they laughed and cheered in all the right places and the vibe felt very receptive and positive.

I am glad I'll be able to hang around tonight and watch the rest of the acts, especially Elizabeth Burton.

Elizabeth Burton is, of course, a legend in Australian stripping. She has been taking her clothes off on stage since the late sixties, and at sixty years old now she is still doing it to great acclaim. Plus she has a beautiful positive energy and a real love of women. She calls everyone 'goddess'. It's fabulous. She's such an inspiration. An honour to share the stage with her.

And Matty got me the most amazing Valentine gift. OMG. I will take photos and show it. It is already an immensely prized possession. It's so fricking beautiful.

The worse part about using whipped cream in a show?

not being able to wash that curdled milk smell off your skin.

>:|



eta: the definition of lameness:

being completely, head-spinning, stumbly-walking drunk on two glasses of wine.


Such a lightweight I am!